In praise of Gaia and her many manifestations. Songs for download, rants and rhapsodies on everything from music to metaphysics

Entries for the ‘poems and lyrics’ Category

beauty ways

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

I said, “Twenty years ago,
I was beautiful.”
She (my friend) said:
“What are you talking about?
You’re beautiful NOW.”

She (my other friend)
Gave me a crystal heart
For Christmas
Treated with gold
Pinkish, glowing, lovely
She said, “It reminds me
Of your face.”

She (my other friend)
Showed me a chapter
Called “Feminine Radiance”
From a book she was reading
She said, “This is
About you.”

I wonder why it is
Women see me
In beauty ways

My fear of mortality
Is reflected in
The eyes of men

Through a haze
Of projection and rejection
My heart heals

the lament of the righteously wronged

Friday, January 4th, 2008

The poisoned dart struck
Into the dark heart of my fear
The one I kept hidden
Lest it be proved true

The vulnerability of love is such
That it doesn’t take much
To change it to hate
I fight to avert that fate

I must trust the power of tears
Brains and blind faith
To unbind from its cage
My righteously wronged rage

When the bars that prison me
Have burst into flame
Let me be true to my name
Fly into a new life

Reborn
Shorn of illusion
Pruned of pretence
Ready to dance

so sweet this pain

Friday, January 4th, 2008

So bittersweet,
this pleasurepain
My breaking heart quakes,
shakes open
New joy pierced by terror’s knife
As resisting voices whisper,
Change means danger!
Future lover, current stranger!

I have been forced from my trap of
Safely-mapped territory
To enter the rich unknown
Where I shall speak the unspoken,
Choose the unchosen

My heart’s compass needle
quivers toward imaginary north
While scintillant shards of fear-magnets
Swing it south, east, west

Breathing now, body at rest
Come to centre, enter self
Beloved, only true love
This face in the mirror
Can never leave
Though it too will change
Become strange over time

I must chance my dance
Slide into new grooves
Move in new ways
Surrender my grip
On the good of the past
Seek to accept
the good
Of the Now

decision time

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

The beginning
And the end
Or the beginning
Of the end
Omens portend
A change in the wind
A new direction
and harder ground
Less protection
But more discipline
And more power
Needed and supplied,
More inside.

In this new year
Two plus zero zero
Plus eight
Which adds up to one,
It’s time, if not too late
The choice is clear
And whether made
from faith or fear
With jaded or
Open hearts
The new day is here
A single step ahead

It’s decision time,
I’ll show you yours
If you’ll show me mine

a very short poem

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

A facebook friend asked the question:

I double dog dare you to write me a one stanza poem, limerick, or hiaku about missing someone you love.

Here is my answer:

empty arms hold a memory
if time is not a line but a blanket
then why does the past
not keep me warm?

On second reading, I thought it was rather good, so I’m posting it here for posterity.

a song of pain and strangeness

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

Here’s the thing; writing songs is therapy, for me. Singing them is something else again, but the act of writing helps me to purge and understand my pain while synthesizing it into a vehicle for pleasure and truth. It’s a kind of creative alchemy. Lately I’ve been going through some complexly emotional and turbulent times; this may be my strangest (and strongest) piece of songwriting yet. Oh, joy. Hooray for pain. Seriously.

Cactus Pillow on a Bed of Nails

In my one brain, I’m a pilgrim
In my other brain I’m a thief
In my other brain I’m a mother
crying out my grief

In my one brain I’m a genius
In my other brain I’m asleep
My other brain’s making promises
I don’t know how to keep

Chorus:
I been blinded by the light
I got wild wolves on my tail
I inherited a legacy of a
Cactus pillow on a bed of nails

I was born so naked
With cold hands on my skin
Flushed into a dark world
Of bright light and cruel grins

I was born so lonely
I did not know myself
I could not love my mama
or anybody else

Chorus:
I been running from the light
And from those wolves upon my trail
I been dreaming to forget about
the cactus pillow on a bed of nails

I dreamed into the ocean
I dreamed into the womb
I dreamed away my life as if
My body was a tomb

I got one foot on the future
And one finger in the past
My one brain wants forever
But my other brain’s fading fast

Chorus:
Now I’m turning to the light
To the sound of the wolves wild wail
And I wonder why I clung to my
Cactus pillow on a bed of nails

I been seven years married
I been seven years alone
I been seven years with my true love
But I never have been home

My one brain is a prisoner
My other brain has the key
My one brain says, I’m ready
My other brain says, I’m free

Coda:
This song is sung by wolves
This song is moving on
This song has got no ending
This song ….

new song uploads

Sunday, September 23rd, 2007

These are a few new songs I’ve just added from a recent local house concert. It’s challenging putting live material out for public consumption because there is no chance to clean up warts and blemishes. One take, that’s it, no editing. That’s also the beauty of live performance. It has a raw, immediate quality quite powerful to experience. Such an energy can be generated during a performance that little fumbles and mistakes on the guitar are far less noticeable, even unimportant (depending on your level of trained musicianship and ear sensitivity!).

Still, recordings of a live performance are a whole ‘nother colour of horse! You will hear fumbles here and there, but do try to de-emphasize those and focus on voice, melody and lyrics. That’s my particular strength; the guitar is there to provide background interest and hopefully not intrude too much.

Drown:

This song is from a dream in which a woman with long straight flame-red hair was dancing under a roofed shelter with no walls in a house downpour, twirling and sending her hair out like sheets of flame. As she danced, she sang this song to me. I introduce it as a ‘lesbian love song’.

Beauty is Free

This song is fairly recent; it grew from a moment of feeling utterly transported and knocked-out by the intense, overwhelming beauty I saw in everything around me. No drugs were involved.

Everything is True

This song is my answer to the hype about global warming. The song is saying, in essence, that Mama Earth knows exactly what she’s doing. We’re a part of it, we’re doing her work, even if we don’t understand it or what greater good might come from whatever collective part we play in the environmental changes happening now. Still, the song is not expressing endorsement of abuse. “Mama’s got a big lap, room for all her babies / She says we’re allowed to do pretty much as we please / But that don’t mean we get to do anything we want to..” It’s about finding the balance and acting according to our own sense of integrity.

Red Hands

When I first hear that Afghanistan was being bombed, I was utterly horrified and stricken. I could not believe that this poverty-stricken little country could be pounded on by the bombs of the world. For what? Because a terrorist was hiding there somewhere? Why couldn’t they send in an elite team of assassins? Nothing about it made sense to me; it felt to me like an act of pure, gratuitous, insanity. Yet I couldn’t rid myself of the sense that I was somehow involved, that those were my hands dropping the bombs. As a human, I am responsible for what humans do. This song speaks to that sense of responsibility. It’s a protest and a prayer at the same time. The ‘evil’ in the song refers not to the act of violence, but to the self-righteous justification and finger-pointing. “Evil walks the planet in our flesh / we point at others, whisper, “Wickedness! / They are the ones who must be shown that our God’s the one to dread…”

The Way to Say Goodbye

I wrote this one lo, these many years ago when a man I believed at the time to be the love of my life returned at last… with his fiance. They got married and I was invited to the wedding. It was a truly mythic experience! So of course I went home and wrote this song. It was about working through the processes of shock and betrayal and coming to a state of acceptance and release, letting go with love still intact. “I can love you like the eagle loves the sky / and that’s the way I say goodbye”

The Will to Live

This one is so recent that I’m not certain what it means specifically; it takes a while for me to really grok where the specific images in a song come from, what it means. It has to grow in me. But basically, this one comes from a very intense feeling that sweeps over me sometimes, a visceral, existential hunger to exist, to experience, to lust and live fully. It feels very good to sing! “I’m waiting for that antler-headed man / He goes by many names, I’ll call him Pan / Pan is my man…”

Fool’s Gold

This one is lighter on the surface, but has depth when you look more closely. I wrote it as a children’s song, in the sense that we are all children. There’s a bit of a twist at the end, it goes to an unexpected conclusion. It’s about goals, materialism and being careful about what we wish for. “Fool’s gold glitters in the light of day / Fool’s gold fades in the night away / Fool’s gold is nothing but a pile of leaves in the light of dawn…”

For Waiting

This song is a celebration of, and an exercise in, heart-opening to someone I once felt hatred for. It was written for someone I was in a bad relationship with long ago. After many years I became close friends with him, largely due to his patience and faith that there was something worth salvaging between us. Now, this song helps me keep my heart open while I return the favour. “Thank you for waiting for me / thank you for letting me be …”

If you want to download the songs, you can right-click on the links in the title and choose ’save as’. But you’d probably enjoy a live performance more. House concerts are low stress and easy to arrange; just get together a group of friends for a potluck and invite me. I’ll do the rest. If you’re interested, email me. I will travel if I can get together a string of linked venues and dates. So far I have one in Northern California!

something different

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

I didn’t write this, and I don’t normally post things here that I haven’t written, but I’ll make an exception. This poem was posted to a discussion list I’m on by its author, and it touched me deeply. It beautifully articulates a feeling that is very familiar indeed, the ways that I, and so many people, shrink ourselves, contract our horizons, all for the sake of not rocking the boat and not frightening or hurting our loved ones. I’ve stopped doing that, terrifying though it has been, and it’s worked out so far!

In celebration of taking risks, jumping off cliffs and chancing change:

For the Sake of Not Hurting the Ones We Love

by Mehera Hathaway

I am pacing
Always pacing
In my gilded cage
You say I am leaving
I say I am going to myself
We agree to disagree
And call it a day
Coffee and kisses at the dawning of the day
Are sweet and welcome
But they do not feed my soul
My spirit wants to dance in the flame of my eternal being
You are not holding me back
You are holding me in kindness
And yet I am not where I want to be
How do I tell you…
You will say “am I not enough?”
And I in turn will say to you…
The world is full of love, and so am I

I want to expand and grow beyond the boundaries of this restless life
I want to touch, taste, hear and feel

“So leave me already”
It always ends the same way
And so tomorrow I will wake to your coffee and sweet kisses
Unsure of what the future holds
Knowing that my leaving
Is the only way to truly come home

Midnight Flea Circus: a song

Sunday, July 22nd, 2007

(this has a perky circus-ish melody)

Eases for your body make you feel good
Freezes to your heart make you cry
Mem’ries haunt you, make you want to
Breezes in the trees make you sigh

It’s the sound of peace in the song of heaven
With a chorus of angels in your mind
When the ground is down and the sun is shining
Let your load drop, let your love be blind

Keys in your pocket for the doorway
Teases you with everything you feared
What if, what next, changing context
Bees in your bonnet make you weird

It’s a plea for peace in a round of pain
With a circus of fleas in your mind
When the ground is gone only darkness remains
Let your guard drop, let yourself be blind

Here in your shadow can you feel me
Stars in your nighttime make you mine
Seizing moment make you potent
Fire in your belly make you fine

Gee, it’s getting easy, can you feel it
See, you were trying much too hard
We’re in this place, painting faces
Like little kids, playing in the yard

It’s a song of peace in the sounds of pleasure
With a forest of fairies in your mind
For the world is round and it just keeps turning
Let it all drop, tra la la la la
Let it all drop, zippedee doo dah
Let it all drop, dumble deedle dah

new song: beauty is free

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

reflecting-pond.jpgBeauty is free, you don’t have to pay
Just take a look around
Beauty is free, beauty is everywhere
In the air and on the ground
There’s beauty in the eyes of the ones
Who stand right next to you
It adds up to harmony,
Beauty is free

All things are soft when you soften
Colours grow bright when you see
It’s not what you do nor how often
It’s all about how you be

Beauty is free in a mother’s love
In the eyes of a child
Beauty is free in the city
No less than in the wild
There’s beauty in your eyes
A beauty that never lies
So be careful how you see
Beauty is free

The juice is so sweet when you taste it
When you tell the truth, you’ll believe
You can’t use up beauty or waste it
There’s no way for beauty to leave

God is truth and god is beauty
God is love and god is joy
God is in the baby and momma,
God is in the girl and boy
So look into the eyes of a stranger
Look in the nighttime sky
When you truly see,
Beauty is free

Don’t live your life for duty
Don’t waste your time loving me
Save all your love for the beauty
That shines in us all for free

Beauty is inside, beauty is outside
Beauty is under your skin
Your birthright is all about beauty
You don’t have to wait to begin