In praise of Gaia and her many manifestations. Songs for download, rants and rhapsodies on everything from music to metaphysics

Entries for January, 2008

on the edge of theta

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

Sleep weights my eyelids
Theta weights my brain
Thoughts slide like snails
Leaving rainbow stain
Future looms ahead
Past is pressing in
Here and now besieged
Time to start again
Find a perfect moment
Never ever leave
Root like General Sherman
Grandmother of trees
‘If only’ is a phrase
To purge from my vocab
And ‘what if’, and ‘what next’
Watch me start to blab
In words without a precedent
As vagrant as a breeze
Awakening the flowers’
Fragrance for the bees
And in this perfect moment
This perfect alpha state
I float, and slide, and flow
Free to find my fate

somebody now

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

O this hankering, hunger for
More of what I never had
Eats my brains, drives me out of sane
Into some new potential
Kundalini rising, explosions
Without pain

Enough delays, enough excuses
This train has waited too long
On that dead-end spur
My fur needs stroking
And so do other things,
But forget your blind poking
I don’t do that no more

I need somebody with eyes in
His fingers and ears
In his skin
Somebody who knows it’s
Never too late to begin

I need somebody
who cares more about
The feeling than the look
Who won’t make me wrong
For how long it took

I need
somebody ready
I need
somebody now

beauty ways

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

I said, “Twenty years ago,
I was beautiful.”
She (my friend) said:
“What are you talking about?
You’re beautiful NOW.”

She (my other friend)
Gave me a crystal heart
For Christmas
Treated with gold
Pinkish, glowing, lovely
She said, “It reminds me
Of your face.”

She (my third friend)
Showed me a chapter
Called “Feminine Radiance”
From a book she was reading
She said, “This is
About you.”

I wonder why it is
Women see me
In beauty ways

My fear of mortality
Is reflected in
The eyes of men

Through a haze
Of projection and rejection
My heart heals

the beauty lie

Saturday, January 5th, 2008

Beauty is the bottom line
I am told
The equation:
Youth plus beauty equals lovability
With beauty an ever-decreasing value
As age increases

Female value
Depreciates faster
Than male
Which is why older men, even poor
Can look good
Be rated worthy

My chances of
getting laid with love
Have shrunk in proportion
To my rating according to the equation

Despite my increasing sexual power,
Communication skills, lovingness
Unquenchable fire, passion
And capacity for pleasure

I am a better lover than
Twenty years ago
But men wanted me then
While now, I find myself
Shelved
In the name of
Beauty

I don’t believe it
Somewhere must be a man
Who hasn’t swallowed
That poison

the lament of the righteously wronged

Friday, January 4th, 2008

The poisoned dart struck
Into the dark heart of my fear
The one I kept hidden
Lest it be proved true

The vulnerability of love is such
That it doesn’t take much
To change it to hate
I fight to avert that fate

I must trust the power of tears
Brains and blind faith
To unbind from its cage
My righteously wronged rage

When the bars that prison me
Have burst into flame
Let me be true to my name
Fly into a new life

Reborn
Shorn of illusion
Pruned of pretence
Ready to dance

so sweet this pain

Friday, January 4th, 2008

So bittersweet,
this pleasurepain
My breaking heart quakes,
shakes open
New joy pierced by terror’s knife
As resisting voices whisper,
Change means danger!
Future lover, current stranger!

I have been forced from my trap of
Safely-mapped territory
To enter the rich unknown
Where I shall speak the unspoken,
Choose the unchosen

My heart’s compass needle
quivers toward imaginary north
While scintillant shards of fear-magnets
Swing it south, east, west

Breathing now, body at rest
Come to centre, enter self
Beloved, only true love
This face in the mirror
Can never leave
Though it too will change
Become strange over time

I must chance my dance
Slide into new grooves
Move in new ways
Surrender my grip
On the good of the past
Seek to accept
the good
Of the Now

decision time

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

The beginning
And the end
Or the beginning
Of the end
Omens portend
A change in the wind
A new direction
and harder ground
Less protection
But more discipline
And more power
Needed and supplied,
More inside.

In this new year
Two plus zero zero
Plus eight
Which adds up to one,
It’s time, if not too late
The choice is clear
And whether made
from faith or fear
With jaded or
Open hearts
The new day is here
A single step ahead

It’s decision time,
I’ll show you yours
If you’ll show me mine

my new year’s resolutions

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

On this New Year’s Day I choose life eternal, love infinitely expanding, sweet peace, joyful and profound. On this path I place my shoes. The collective belief that claims only certain things to be possible and death to be inevitable can go hang.

I reclaim my power rooted in this now, this eternal moment of creativity. I open to all possibilities for love and plenty. I leave all doors open, even those that may lead to darkness and pain, for only through infinite possibility can maximum mutative morphogenesis take place. I trust the living love of our Most Wholly Self.

I return to this bottom line, though betimes it seems the promise of a brave new age fades as the old falls drunkenly on its face, disgraced by death and denial of dreams gone by. I am betimes sliced by the razor-edged knife of mine own ambiguity, so quivery uncertain of the trustworthiness of circumstances to come. Do I create my own reality, or is that a fallacy? Am I evolving into greater love and fullness of promise, or merely blundering through a random game of chance, the victim of events that I cannot foresee or defend against?

These questions approach crisis frequency as I age. The stakes grow higher as the hooded spectre of perceived mortality raises its mottled, wrinkly neck and thwips its slotted tongue in my face.

Still, I can’t shake my conviction that profound unprecedented change is possible, nor slake my hunger for same. I, as much as anyone, might discover a way never before known to change the shape of collective consciousness and, consequently, open new channels for experience.

So, again, I choose to embrace my place within Most Wholly Self, that collective entity which is unimaginably greater than the sum of its parts (which are themselves unimaginably great). I allow the voices in my head which claim the name to guide me into correct relationship and to open doors in blessed synchrony.

I choose to believe in possibility, for the fatalistic alternative has been endlessly tried and found faulty, fruitless and futile.