so sweet this pain
So bittersweet,
this pleasurepain
My breaking heart quakes,
shakes open
New joy pierced by terror’s knife
As resisting voices whisper,
Change means danger!
Future lover, current stranger!
I have been forced from my trap of
Safely-mapped territory
To enter the rich unknown
Where I shall speak the unspoken,
Choose the unchosen
My heart’s compass needle
quivers toward imaginary north
While scintillant shards of fear-magnets
Swing it south, east, west
Breathing now, body at rest
Come to centre, enter self
Beloved, only true love
This face in the mirror
Can never leave
Though it too will change
Become strange over time
I must chance my dance
Slide into new grooves
Move in new ways
Surrender my grip
On the good of the past
Seek to accept
the good
Of the Now